At First Glance
by Madkat89
Summary: In a world where the soul mate bond has all but disappeared, Kaoru finds herself drawn to a mysterious redhead with a secret past. Convinced that the soulmate bond is a myth, Kaoru fights this with everything she has. Will Kenshin be able to convince her to accept the bond and accept him or will they both be lonely forever? A/U
1. Prologue

At First Glance

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

Prologue

There are legends that stretch back as far as human history about soulmates and their deep, unbreakable bond. Of a love so deep and true that it surpasses all other bonds. It is said that to have a soulmate is to be blessed beyond all understanding. That no matter what trials they face in life, they will overcome and their bond will be unbroken, only strengthened by the obstacles that they've faced.

Still, to be blessed with a soul mate is an incredibly rare thing. Once, it was common for people to meet their soulmate and live a blessed life. But some scholars say that this most precious gift was not cherished, that despite the bond they were gifted, they ignored it or treated it like a weakness, something to despise. Some even used this gift to control their mate, making their lives total misery.

Other scholars debate that the reason that soul mates have disappeared is because humans have evolved past the need for them. With reason and logic advancing, humans no longer needed to be tied by their bodies' needs and responses. After all, it makes so much more sense to use your brain and logic to select the ideal partner to help carry your bloodline on. Now instead of relying on chemical responses like animals, man can use his higher reason to bring mankind to even greater heights than before.

But no matter what theory you believe, it cannot be denied that soulmates have dwindled more with each passing decade. Now soulmates have been relegated to the past, to the realm of stories and myths. Little children still hear stories of great soulmates from the past, but these are considered fairytales, meant only to entertain and inform children. In the past century, there have only been a score of soulmates and if this trend continued, the soul mate bond will have disappeared within the next two decades.

But what people often forget is that all legends have grains of truth in them. And often when things seem the most hopeless, the dark before the dawn, the peak of the storm, that's when the unexpected happens and legends live again. And when the dust settles, then oh what a glorious sunrise.

KxK

Koshijiro sighed and tried not to let his weariness show as he worked on settling his daughter in for the night. Since he'd lost his wife three months earlier, making it through the day had become incredibly hard. If it hadn't been for his seven year old daughter, Kaoru, he honestly couldn't say what he would've done in his grief. She had been subdued and lost since her mother had passed, clinging to him for comfort. Still, in the past couple of weeks, her lively spirit had started to resurface, both gladdening and saddening his heart.

Making sure that she was comfortable, he noted that she was still wide awake. Knowing that if he left right then, she'd be rejoining him shortly, protesting that she wasn't sleepy. Settling himself next to her futon, he conceded, "I'll tell you one story and then you have to go to sleep. Which one?"

Her eyes sparkled in anticipation, "The soul mate one, otou-san."

He sighed, "Are you sure? You've already heard that one so many times."

"Yes, otou. I want that one."

"All right." Gathering his thoughts, he started, "A long time ago, the kamis' saw that people were very lonely. They were saddened by this, because they wanted people to be happy. So they all sat down together and talked about they could make the people happy. They talked for a long, long time, but they couldn't figure out a way to keep people from being lonely."

"Why couldn't they figure out how to make people happy, otou-san?"

"I don't know why, maybe they had too many different ideas. Anyway, the youngest kami had been silent while the other kamis' talked, watching the people as they lived their lives. Finally, when the other kamis' stopped talking, he gathered up all of his courage and spoke." He changed his voice to a scared, young voice. "'While you were talking, I was watching the people down below. I saw that people were happy when they had someone to love, to be with them, for their whole lives. I believe that its love that makes people happy.' The other kamis' who had been about to yell at the youngest kami for not paying attention were surprised and looked to see if what he saw was true."

"And it was, he was right." Kaoru was so excited that she started to sit up. She quickly lay back down when her father gave her a warning look.

"Yes, they saw that the youngest kami was indeed right. Now they had to figure out how to help people figure out who to love so they could be happy. Again, all the kamis' but the youngest talked and talked. Finally, they noticed that he hadn't said anything and they asked him what he thought. Taking a deep breath, he said quietly, 'The humans say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Let them look in each other's eyes and when they find the person that will make them most happy, let them be bound together so they'll never be lonely again.' All of the kamis' were very happy with this idea and immediately did as the youngest kami had suggested. And even today, people can find the person that makes them most happy. All they have to do is look in each other's eyes and they know that they'll never be lonely again."

Fighting back a yawn, Kaoru requested sleepily, "Tell me about you and okaa-san."

"When I was younger."

"Where you as young as me?"

He smiled at her attempts to extend bedtime, even though her eyes were drooping. "No, I was all grown up. But when I was younger, my master sent me on an errand to deliver a package to another dojo."

"But you didn't want to."

"No, I didn't. It was hot and the dojo was all the way across town. I wanted to go with my friends and swim in the river to cool off. But my master told me to do it, so I had to do it. So I took the package to the dojo across town, grumbling about how unfair it was. But when I entered the dojo….."

"You saw okaa-san!"

"She wasn't your okaa-san then. I never seen her before, but I thought that she was the prettiest girl that I've ever seen. I tripped and almost dropped the package, I was so surprised."

"And she thought it was funny."

"Yes, your okaa-san giggled at my clumsiness and I was so embarrassed. I looked at her, about to say something mean because she'd laughed at me when I met her eyes."

"Her blue eyes like mine."

"Yes. Her blue eyes met mine and suddenly I couldn't breathe. It was like I was suddenly home, like having hot tea on a cold day, or snuggling with your kitten." A sleepy hand reached out and gently petted the kitten that was sleeping on her pillow. "And I knew that I'd never be lonely again, just like in the story. So we got married and had a beautiful little girl that we named Kaoru."

She was almost asleep as she murmured, "That's me, I'm Kaoru."

"Yes. I love you, Kaoru. Good night."

Getting to his feet, he almost missed her reply, "Love you too, otou-san. Someday, I'm gonna find someone just like you found okaa-san and live happily ever after."

Before he could answer, she was fast asleep. Making his way slowly out of the room, he whispered brokenly, "If only we'd gotten to live happily ever after. Still, hopefully you'll find your soulmate one day, Kaoru. I just pray that you'll be happy."

A/N: So, I have a lot going on in my home life, so while I can't promise regular updates, I promise to update when I can. This story just wouldn't leave me alone and I had to write it. The idea of soul mates is something that fascinates me and I hope that you'll enjoy this story as much as I do. When I was looking for a definition of soul mates for this story, I found one at Urban Dictionary that just spoke to me, so I just have to share it: **A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet - a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.**

Reviews are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

Resettling her basket on her arm, Kaoru leisurely examined the various vendors' wares. She had finished teaching an hour ago and all that she had left to do for the day was gather ingredients for her evening meal. She lingered, debating her meal choice and enjoying the energy and life overflowing in the market square. Despite the chaos of vendors shouting, haggling over deals, and the crush of people, she found the market very soothing.

Absently inspecting some fruit, Kaoru tried to figure out the nagging sensation that she was forgetting something. The feeling had tugged at her all day like a shy toddler, wanting her attention but clamming up when she acknowledged it. She sighed, knowing that it was probably a bit of foresight tugging at her, but of all her gifts, foresight was the weakest. She'd tried to develop it, but it remained elusive, giving her just enough glimpses to drive her crazy. If she left it alone, sometimes things would become clearer. On the other hand, it could also fade away entirely, as ephemeral as the morning mist.

Deciding against the fruit, she was about to move on when children playing caught her eye. She paused to watch them, smiling slightly at their infectious laughter. Right then, a women, obviously the mother of at least one of the children, came to round them up. Reluctant to leave their games, the child begged for their friends to come over for dinner. Laughing, the mother ruffled the child's hair and agreed. Watching this, the niggling sensation suddenly returned and Kaoru was able to grasp it partially. Friends were coming for dinner. Probably Sano, but it felt like more than one guest. Kaoru concentrated, trying to sense whether or not it was Megumi accompanying him. But it didn't feel like the mischievous woman, rather, she got the feeling of warmth, like a gentle spring day after a long winter. Before she could discern more, the feeling slipped away. She shrugged, used to the lack of information. She would learn more when Sano appeared that evening.

Realizing that she'd better hurry if she were to get the evening meal started before her guests appeared, she adjusted her basket and started shopping earnestly. Moving swiftly through the market, she assembled the necessary ingredients, her earlier relaxation disappearing in the bustle of haggling. Finally satisfied with her purchases, she slipped out of the market down the side street that led to her home.

Reaching the apartment building where she lived, Kaoru sighed slightly before climbing the stairs. Although she would never admit it out loud, Kaoru desperately missed the dojo where she had grown up. After her father had passed away, the dojo had had to be sold to cover his medical expenses. Pausing to unlock the door, Kaoru vowed, as she did every day since she had moved in, that one day she would buy the dojo back. With this goal in mind, she lived frugally, every penny she could spare tucked away towards the price of the dojo. Another sigh escaped her, although the small fund was growing, it sometimes seemed like she'd never reach her goal.

Shaking away her brief depression, she squared her shoulders and entered her modest apartment. It was older and although her friends called it cramped, Kaoru preferred the term cozy. It had a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and sitting area. Really, what more could one ask for in a house? Also, its small size made cleaning a much easier task, something that she appreciated after a long day of teaching at the dojo. With a little bit of work (and some help from Misao and Megumi), she'd managed to transform it into a home. It wasn't much, but it was hers.

She had barely managed to unpack her groceries and start assembling the meal when there was a pounding on the door. She grimaced, recognizing Sano's version of "knocking". Concentrating on slicing the vegetables evenly, she called for him to enter. She heard the door open and had to groan as she heard it bounce off the wall. Without glancing up, she yelled, "Sano, if you've dented my wall again….."

She heard the door close gently and Sano said placatingly, "Its fine, Jou-chan. Not a scratch, I promise."

"All right, rooster head. I'll forgive you this time." She smiled at his shout of indignation. "Come join me in the kitchen, I'm making dinner."

He clomped noisily through the sitting room, making it hard for her to tell if he'd brought a friend or not. "Whatcha making?"

Sliding the last of the ingredients into pot, she wiped her hands on her apron absently. "I'm making oden. I thought that you'd be by later, otherwise I'd have chosen something else, sorry." She turned and smiled at the tall man.

He shrugged, an easy going grin on his face. "Oden's fine. How'd you know I'd be by?" She opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "Oh yea, foresight. I forget that that's one of your gifts."

She shrugged, "Definitely my weakest one. How is Megumi? And what brings you here? I just got the feeling that you'd be here for dinner."

"Kitsune's fine, said to tell you that she'd drop by in a couple of days and catch up."

Kaoru laughed and scolded, "You know she hates that name."

He just grinned. "Anyway's, I brought a friend to meet you. Name's Kenshin. Hope you don't mind."

She scowled in mock exasperation, "Usually, you ask before you bring someone over. However, addlepated rooster heads tend to forget social niceties, it seems." She glanced around and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"He waited in the sitting area. Hey Kenshin, c'mere."

Hearing light footsteps, Kaoru turned and stirred the oden, making sure that it was set to simmer so she could focus on Sano and his friend. Turning back, she met the eyes of Sano's friend, the spoon falling from her suddenly numb grip. She sucked in a breath, her gaze ensnared by a pair of intense golden eyes. A wave of powerful emotions swept over her, leaving her feeling simultaneously like she was being battered by hurricane force winds, yet at the same time, being cradled protectively in a gentle embrace. Using every ounce of will power she possessed, she ripped her eyes away, almost hearing a shattering sound at their gazes parted. Feeling like she'd just run a marathon, she looked at the ground and forced out, "Nice to meet you. Please wait in the sitting area, the kitchen is simply too small for more than one person to be in it at a time."

She waited until both men had left the kitchen before sliding down the cupboards to collapse on the floor by the stove. Drawing her knees to her chest, she buried her face in them and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

KxK

Kenshin followed Sano back to the sitting area, feeling dazed. He made his way over to the couch and slowly sat down, replaying the brief encounter in his mind. He missed Sano's question, caught up in trying to sort out what had just happened. But when Sano shook him, he snapped out of his daze and focused on his friend's concerned face. "Oro?"

"Kenshin, man, what just happened?"

His voice hoarse, he answered, "It's her."

Confusion crossed Sano's face. "Her. Her who? Kaoru?"

He turned the name over in his mind, savoring the sound of it. So her name was Kaoru. For the past several weeks, he'd been haunted by the vision of a petite woman with long black hair and stunning sapphire eyes. At first, he'd tried to put it out of his mind, an idle daydream, a side effect from being alone so long. But after several visions of the exact same woman, he began to realize that there was more to it than he'd originally believed. So he'd started watching the people around him, searching for this mystery woman, determinedly using all of his vast gifts to find her. But still he'd come up empty handed, his frustration increasing exponentially. Finally, after weeks of nothing, he broke down and vented to Sano, not expecting the man to have any useful input, just wanting him to listen.

Imagine his surprise when Sano told him that he knew a couple of woman that that description could match, teasing him about why his gifts seemed so set on finding this woman. He'd latched onto Sano like a lifeline, a glimmer of hope reappearing. Sano had been surprised at his intensity, but agreed easily enough to introduce him. This had happened at lunchtime and it had taken all of his patience to make it through the afternoon. Finally the time had come and they'd made their way to this tiny apartment.

When he had heard her call for them to enter, something inside him had tensed and relaxed at the same time. He'd waited politely for Sano to introduce him, never even dreaming of what was going to occur. Walking into the kitchen, it took his breath away as he realized that he'd finally found her. It was the woman he'd been seeing for days, right down to the indigo ribbon holding her hair. And when his eyes had met her sapphire ones. He had no words. He felt an overwhelmingly fierce protectiveness as well as a flood of gentle awe. He felt a wave of contentment wash over him, leaving him feel complete.

Then she'd broken their connection, confusion and anxiety clear on her face. Concerned, he raised his hand to comfort her, but before he could say anything, she'd spoken. Never raising her eyes from the floor, she'd politely thrown them from the room, leaving Kenshin's mind whirling in confusion.

Refocusing on Sano, he repeated, "It's her. She's the one I was looking for. Kaoru's the one that I've been seeing for weeks." He laughed quietly, amazement clear on his face. "I can't believe that I finally found her."

A/N: So I know that traditionally, Kaoru cannot cook. However, in this fic, Kaoru is saving to buy her dojo back, so she's saving her money wherever she can. Eating out can be expensive, so she perforce has had to learn how to cook. However, there are only a few dishes that she can do that are actually edible, so she isn't too far off canon, lol.

Reviews are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

Kaoru wasn't sure how long she had huddled on the floor, but she was certain that it hadn't been more than a couple of minutes. Reining in her rioting emotions, she ignored the murmur of masculine voices from the next room. Drawing in a shuddering breath, she forced herself to stand up. The last thing she needed was for Sano to come check on her and find her huddled on the ground like a scared mouse. Rubbing her face, she ordered herself to pull herself together.

Frowning, she moved automatically to heat up a kettle of water for tea, courtesy demanding that she offer her guests refreshment, even if she felt like thrashing Sano for bringing Kenshin here. She tried to recall what the other man looked like, startled to discover that the only thing she'd noticed about him was his intense golden eyes. She shook her head, disgusted with herself. She'd always prided herself on observing all the subtle nuances of people's behavior and appearance, only to be thrown into a tizzy when she'd met a stranger unexpectedly. Come to think of it, Sano hadn't really explained why he'd brought Kenshin to her place in the first place.

Assembling her tea set, she finally managed to shake off the daze she'd been in for the last several minutes. Why was she so worked up anyway? It couldn't possibly be what she'd thought it was at first. That was just ludicrous. What she did know was that her father would be ashamed of her behavior right now. She'd left her guests by themselves while she'd had a meltdown over nothing. Squaring her shoulders, she took the tray and settling a smile firmly in place, headed out to where the men were waiting.

She was surprised when Kenshin shot to his feet as soon as she entered the room. She was even more surprised to find that he wasn't much taller than her own petite frame. He was studying her carefully, like he was afraid that she would bolt if he moved too quickly. At this, her sense of humor reasserted itself. She disliked awkward situations as much as the next person, but running away was one thing that Kaoru Kamiya would never do. Motioning for him to sit, she eyed his red hair and wondered how in the world she had ever missed that.

Sano eyed her speculatively, but she noticed that he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut. Handing them their tea, she asked, "So, what brings you here tonight, Kenshin?" About to say more, she decided to wait and see what he'd say first.

He sipped his tea slowly with a soft hum of appreciation, obviously gathering his thoughts. When he spoke, his rich, mellow voice both surprised her and drew her at the same time. "For the past several weeks, my gift has been showing me a woman, showing me you. I was unable to locate you myself, which is unusual in and of itself. When I met Sano for lunch today, I mentioned my search to him and he told me that he knew of two woman that matched the description of the woman I sought and said that he could introduce me. I'm sorry for intruding on you unexpectedly, Miss Kaoru."

She turned this over for several moments in her mind. Finally meeting his eyes, she kept her voice casual, "So, foresight is one of your stronger gifts?" He nodded, absently turning the cup in his hands. "Foresight is my weakest gift, I occasionally get a feeling, but it is usually gone before I can interpret it. I take it that you can see more with your gift?"

"Usually, I see the object of my foresight and its surroundings clearly, often with many descriptive elements that I can use to find it. When that doesn't happen, I still often get enough information to use my gift of tracking to find it, another of my strongest skills. However, although my vision of you was detailed down to the ribbon you wear in your hair, I was unable to discern any telling indicators of who you were or where you lived. Even more surprising, my gift of tracking failed me entirely. Until I met with Sano, I was at a dead end."

She poured Sano another cup of tea, obviously hesitating for time. "If you don't mind me asking, what is your weakest gift?"

She saw his face soften, but chose to ignore it and any implications that such a thing could mean. "Foretelling. The future has always been shrouded from me." He watched her closely and she was confused as to what he was looking for. What did he expect from her?

"So you don't know why you're having visions of me. Just that you are having the visions."

"Correct, Miss Kaoru."

She shrugged, "Well, obviously you aren't dangerous to me, otherwise Sano would never have brought you here. He may be a rooster head, but he is protective of his friends." Rising to her feet, she gave into the irresistible pull and added, "Just let me go and check on the oden. Then we can sit and get acquainted while it finishes up. Welcome to my home, Kenshin. May you find warmth at my hearth, protection within my walls, nourishment from my food, and joy in my company."

He stood and bowed deeply to her. "I will share your hearth, take shelter in your home, break bread at your table, and partake of your company. I vow in return to guard you, abide by your laws, and protect your home while I dwell under your roof."

"So mote it be." The ritual greeting completed, she smiled and returned to the kitchen.

KxK

Kenshin hesitated and looked back, not wanting to lose sight of Kaoru's apartment building. She had surprised him when she had offered the traditional greeting of warriors. When she'd first entered the room after sending them from the kitchen, he'd been half afraid that she'd either throw him out or take off herself. He'd been desperate not to be parted from her, even though he knew nothing more about her than her name. Her questions had been a relief, because she was willing to at least hear him out.

He shook his head in disbelief at how easily she had dismissed him as a threat to her. Although it was true that he could never be a threat to her, there was no way she could possibly know that, even with Sano vouching for him. When she'd risen, his heart had lodged itself in his throat, certain that she was going to evict him. Instead, she'd invited him to stay and given him the warrior's greeting.

And it had been an incredible evening, filled with warmth and laughter and good natured banter. It had been a balm for his lonely soul. He hadn't felt so at ease, so at, well, home, since his family had passed away when he was a child. Even the meal, although it was simply, tasted like a feast to him, enjoyable by the mere fact that he was sharing it with others.

He had wanted to stay longer, but politeness dictated that he leave when Kaoru could no longer discretely hide her yawns. Despite her enjoyment of their company, it was obvious that she was exhausted. So gathering up Sano, he politely bid goodbye, ecstatic when she invited him to visit her again sometime. When they reached the street, Sano had gone in a different direction from him, going off in search of a card game.

Taking a last glance, Kenshin squared his shoulders and turned resolutely away. He knew her name and where she lived, she wouldn't disappear on him. In the meanwhile, he had some investigating to do.

KxK

Kaoru stood in her darkened apartment, looking absently out the window. Kenshin had long since disappeared, but for some reason, she was still staring out the window. It has been fun, getting to know him. Although she was still irritated that Sano had brought him by without warning, she had quickly warmed up to him. She suddenly remembered her childhood wish of finding her soulmate and sighed. If she still wanted a soulmate, she'd definitely want someone like Kenshin. But that was a dream that she'd long ago discarded.

Resting her forehead on the cool glass, she thought back. The story of her father and mother had sounded like a fairytale, something that she'd desperately wished for. But after her mother passed away, she realized that the soulmate bond had a dark side, just like any fairytale starts out. It was supposed to start out with the pain and then get better, not the other way around. Her father had ached every day for her mother. Although he'd been an incredible father, showering her with love and attention, it was clear that he had been missing half of his heart.

When it had become clear that he wasn't going to recover from his illness, they had had several hard discussions that needed to be had, as she was the sole remaining Kamiya member and needed to know all of her history, the good and the bad. During this time, she had finally gathered the courage to ask him if he regretted meeting her mother, if he would go back and change it, knowing that he'd lose her after only a few years. He had laughed, the gentle chuckle that she'd adored. Even with his waning strength, he'd managed to reach up and caress her cheek. His words still haunted, "If I'd only known her for a moment, I would still consider myself the most blessed of men. I looked in her eyes and I knew, I knew, that I would never be alone again. We weren't meant to be alone, Kaoru love. It is what all humans fear. And even though she'd passed on from this life, I know that she's right there waiting for me to join her, but chastising me not to hurry, because our daughter needs me, that she can wait. I pray that someday, you find what we had."

She hadn't had the heart to tell him that she'd prayed that it never happened to her. The emotional scars from witnessing her father's pain had been deep. It still affected her deeply to this day, causing her to never seriously pursue any relationship beyond friendship.

Sighing again, she pushed tiredly away from the window and headed towards her well-deserved rest.

A/N: First off, Kenshin has not lost his mind (or taste buds) but I think that everything tastes better with friends. I will explain a little more about gifts as we go on, but I don't plan on writing about all the theory behind them and how they work, they are mainly there to help the story along. So what do you think Kenshin is up to? And Kaoru is planning on fighting the bond, poor Kenshin.

I've been debating on whether or not to share this, but I want you guys to understand why I'm not updating faster. About 3 weeks ago, my 4 year old nephew was involved in a fire and hurt. He will live and the doctors at Children's hospital have been wonderful, but he will be in the hospital for 2-3 months and it will take 2 years for him to get back to where he was before the fire. Most of our family's focus is on caring for him and his family (he has 3 young siblings) during this time. So I thank you for your patience and your reviews. You guys really are one of the biggest reasons that I love writing.

Reviews are appreciated.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

Standing in the dusty backyard of the apartment complex, Kaoru gripped her bokken firmly and closed her eyes, trying to contain her frazzled emotions. Taking a deep breath to center herself, she opened her eyes and started on the simplest kata she knew. It was her day off, but she'd sought out the familiar routine, hoping to settle her chaotic thoughts and emotions. It had only been two weeks since she'd met Kenshin, but she felt like she was losing her mind.

When Sano had brought him by, she had enjoyed his company despite the odd beginning. By the end of the evening, she'd decided that she wouldn't mind seeing him again, so she'd invited him to stop by sometime, figuring it would be a few weeks before she saw him again. So imagine her surprise when she'd run into him the next day at lunchtime. She'd gone to a small park near the dojo where she worked to eat the bento that she'd brought. She had finished it quickly and had closed her eyes and leaned back on her elbows, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face.

Something shaded her face suddenly and she opened her eyes to see what it was and was startled to see Kenshin's amber eyes peering back at her. She sat up abruptly and he had moved just in time to prevent their heads banging together. After a stuttered apology, she'd half-jokingly accused him of stalking her, but he had chuckled and claimed that is was just happenstance that he had happened to be in the neighborhood and seen her. She'd dropped it but had always wondered whether or not he had told her the truth.

Every day since then, he'd somehow managed to run into her. After the first few days, he'd even started giving her things, a jasmine flower, an indigo hair ribbon to 'match her eyes' according to him, as well as other small gifts. She'd wanted to refuse them, but the shy delight in his eyes and his small crooked smile every time she accepted them made it impossible. She sighed, berating herself for her weakness concerning him.

Warmed up, she moved to a more difficult kata while she continued to wrestle with her thoughts. The problem was, Kenshin fascinated her. He had so many layers and the more she discovered about him, the more she liked him. Every conversation they had revealed something new about him and only increased her curiosity. Like the fact that he'd lost his parents early on, was in fact raised by a bachelor uncle named Hiko. Stories about his work as a body guard and the people he guarded as well as the enemies that he'd fought against. Apparently he was an excellent swordsman, but so far, he'd refused to give her a demonstration, the only thing he'd ever denied her in their brief, whatever this was. Moving through several moves, she finally decided on friendship. Yes, she and Kenshin were merely friends, nothing more.

Her traitorous mind whispered insidiously: Then why did it hurt when Kenshin had spoken about his childhood sweetheart, Tomoe? She swung her bokken viciously, trying to ignore that quiet voice. Kenshin had been very open with her, even telling her about his childhood sweetheart, Tomoe. He had admitted candidly that he had fully expected to marry her when they were adults. Instead, she had met Akira and it had been love at first sight for both of them. It had nearly killed him, but he'd given them his blessing. They had been married for five years now and had two children and while not close anymore, they had stayed in touch. Feeling oddly anxious while he'd told this, she'd watched him closely. He had been serious, but there was no lingering regret in his eyes over the way that things had turned out. Relief had made her lightheaded, but when he'd turned and smiled at her, saying that he was glad that things hadn't worked out like he'd originally intended, she'd been lightheaded for an entirely different reason.

She scowled fiercely, suddenly realizing how far he'd gotten past her defenses. He was moving past the walls around her heart like they weren't even there and this had to stop right now. Because she was coming to comprehend exactly how easy it would be to fall in love with him. Everything about him called to her, whispering sweet promises about how great their life could be together. She shook her head, clearing it of the siren's song of a non-existent future. She had to get Kenshin out of her life, now, before he could manage to get past all the walls surrounding her fragile heart.

KxK

Kenshin lingered at the corner of the backyard, taking a few minutes to observe Kaoru before he announced his presence. Something or someone had upset Kaoru, causing her to sport a fierce scowl. He had to bite back a chuckle as he watched her move fiercely through her katas, obviously mentally thrashing the cause of her displeasure. So fierce, his Kaoru. It was hard to believe that they'd only known each other for a fortnight.

That first night after he'd met her, he'd spent the night lying awake, unable to sleep for figuring out how to see her again. He hadn't bumped into Kaoru by accident like he'd told her that first day. He'd gotten her place of work from Sano and tracked her down, unable to fight the urge to see her. They had talked for almost an hour before she had had to return to her work. He had been reluctant to leave her, but spent the time apart productively, using the contacts that he'd acquired from his years of body guarding to find out everything about her.

It had been the fourth day after he'd met her that he'd found the first gift for her. He'd been cutting through the market on an errand for Hiko since he was between jobs when he'd seen it. A cloth merchant had a display of ribbons that caught his eyes and drew him. The day before, Kaoru had admitted that the reason that she loved ribbons was because they made her feel close to her mother. Her mother had loved ribbons and would always use different ribbons to style Kaoru's hair. A deep indigo ribbon had caught his eye, the exact same hue as her expressive eyes. He bought it immediately, knowing that it would make a perfect courting gift. When she'd accepted it, he'd felt happiness that he'd hadn't felt for a long time bubble through him.

Each time she accepted a gift from him, he felt his heart begin to thaw a little more. But what really humbled him and moved him was how she had opened her home and was opening her heart to him. Even though it had only been two weeks, they had talked for hours, covering all kinds of topics. He had even shared with her about Tomoe, the distant sting of her leaving finally soothed away by Kaoru's sweet presence.

Every little thing about her fascinated him, from her lack of cooking skills to the tidbits that she'd shared about growing up in a dojo raised by her father. Her caring nature, fierce loyalty, sense of humor, and strong belief in right and wrong drew him to her like a moth to flame. Seeing that she had just finished her latest kata, he decided to make his presence known.

He was surprised when she saw him, her scowl deepened and she crossed her arms. She demanded, "What are you doing here, Kenshin?"

Thrown for a loop by her sudden hostility, he nevertheless smiled cheerfully, hoping to ease her dark mood. "To see you, Kaoru-dono, and invite you to dinner."

She shook her head no firmly. "No. Now go away."

He let the smile drop from his face, his mind whirling as to what he could've done to make her upset. Wary but wanting to uncover the reason for this abrupt behavior shift, he asked tentatively, "Is something wrong, Kaoru-dono?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just want to be alone. No you, no Sano, no anybody. I want to spend the rest of the day alone, without anybody to disturb me. So please, just go."

Confused and slightly alarmed, he slowly turned on his heel and did as she asked. A quick glance over his shoulder revealed her just standing there watching him leave, her eyes stormy. His only thought was: What have I done?

KxK

It was all she could do to keep from calling out for him to come back, that she didn't really mean it. Once he was out of sight, she allowed her bokken to fall unheeded to the ground, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as her tears began to fall. The look Kenshin had given her haunted her, it was like she'd kicked his puppy or slapped him out of the blue. Equal parts confusion, shock, and hurt, had warred in his expressive amber eyes.

She slowly sank to her knees, her legs too weak to support herself. She was at war with herself. Her mind screamed out for her to protect herself, to guard her heart so that she would never feel the pain that she'd seen her father go through. That she was safest alone, that she was happiest when it was just her. Her heart begged for her to go after Kenshin, to beg him to forgive, tell him that she hadn't meant it. It begged her for her to find her other half, the other part of her soul, so that she would never have to be alone again.

Suddenly realizing what she was thinking, she was so shocked that she stopped crying. She turned the thought over tentatively. Kenshin was her, soul mate. Her mind protested that that was crazy, that they'd only known each other for two weeks. Despite this, she couldn't deny the fact that it just felt so right, the idea that he was her soul mate. And following that line of logic, _she_ was his soul mate.

Shakily climbing to her feet, she wearily retrieved her bokken and made her way slowly back to her apartment. As much as she wanted to go after Kenshin, she needed time to think things through thoroughly. She needed to make some decisions and he needed her to be completely sure of whatever choice she made. Still, she couldn't help casting a lingering look in the direction that he had gone.

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter. Thank you for hanging in there. I know that some of you will be upset that Tomoe is alive, but this is an AU fic, so I am claiming artistic license :) Poor Kenshin, he has no idea how hard Kaoru is fighting this, but she's finally starting to see the light. So this story will probably only be another one or two chapters.

So I have some good news. Next week, my nephew should finally be able to leave the hospital. He's been there for almost 2 months, most of it in PICU (pediatric intensive care unit). We're so excited for him to finally come home again, even though the next few years are going to be quite intense as he continues his healing journey.

As always, reviews are appreciated.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

Author's Note: Thank you everyone so much for hanging in there while I've been absent from this story. Knowing that people are reading and enjoying this has really brightened my days. First off, my nephew is back home and doing so much better. He got to spend Easter with his family and I cannot tell you how blessed and grateful we are to have him back home where he belongs. Secondly, this is not the last chapter, there will probably be one more. However, I am headed to Nepal for the next two weeks and will not be able to update until I come back. But you all have been so awesome that I couldn't leave without giving you another chapter. Finally, **starfingers** , to answer your question, this is an AU fic. I made Kenshin's eyes amber because in this fic, he isn't Battousai/Rurouni, but simply himself, undivided. To me, amber was his golden eyes darkened by the violet, so it seemed like a good compromise. Hope this helped explain it :)

Now onto the story…

Kaoru stumbled and cursed, ignoring the sweat trickling down her back. It had been a week, a WEEK, since she'd sent Kenshin away and nothing had gone right from that moment on. She'd been relieved to see him go, but hadn't truly expected him to stay away completely. As it was, she was going crazy. She kept thinking that she'd glimpsed his vibrant hair out of the corner of her eyes, but when she whipped her head around, he was nowhere to be seen.

She growled and tried to refocus on the kata she was doing. It was one of the simplest ones that she knew, but she kept fumbling like a novice. She had sent Kenshin away so she could get her thoughts straight, instead her thoughts were whirling worse than ever. It didn't help that her strongest gift, that of empathy and healing, nagged at her constantly to go to Kenshin, insistent that he was hurting, that he needed her.

Blowing a stray bang out of her face in frustration, she abandoned the kata and stomped over to the shade of the single tree in the courtyard and slumped tiredly against the trunk. Rubbing her face, she sighed, feeling battered all over. This wasn't what she wanted, to hurt Kenshin and also herself. She had just wanted some space so she could rein in her rioting emotions, to get back to her carefully balanced life before she'd met Kenshin. But, as she'd come to realize over the past week, things would never go back to how they were.

Feeling tears prick at her eyes, she finally admitted to herself. She missed Kenshin, missed him with a hollow ache that left her feeling only half alive. She hadn't realized how colorless and regimented her life had become until Kenshin had entered her life. He had brought color and chaos and life back into her world, making her feel again, instead of the numb monotony that her life had become. The emotions had been intense and overwhelming, causing her to draw back in self-defense and lash out. Instead of relief from emotion, the sudden lack had hurt worse, an aching emptiness that cut like a knife.

Drawing a deep breath, she forced back her tears and centered herself. Things couldn't go on like this, it was time for her to stop running and make a decision. She had hidden from reality for long enough, it was time to stop acting like a child. Facing the truth of her emotions, Kaoru gasped, disbelief and bone deep certainty warring. Love. She loved Kenshin. It should've been impossible, they'd only known each other for a brief time. But the truth was that she was deeply, irrevocably in love with Kenshin. The utter rightness of it warmed her and muscles that she hadn't realized were tense suddenly relaxed.

Kenshin's hurt face suddenly flashed through her mind and she winced. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but she had hurt him regardless. Still, she hadn't meant for him to leave forever, it was his fault that he'd stayed away. Shaking her head abruptly, she acknowledged that that wasn't true. He was doing his best to respect her wishes, to stay away and give her space. If his week had been anything like hers, it had been agony. So why had she sent him away?

Steeling herself, she examined herself and her motives, refusing to sugarcoat anything. She flinched at what she found. The ugliness and pettiness of her heart disgusted her. She was a greedy, grasping creature, so desperate for happiness, to not be alone, that she would latch onto Kenshin and take and take, never considering his happiness, what he needed to be complete. But this creature was so fragile, like a delicate glass figurine. One careless word or gesture and it would break into a million pieces. In it, she saw desperate self-preservation. Scenes flashed through her mind, all the times people had left her, either through death or walking away. And each time someone left, cracks splintered and grew, spider webbing across it. She knew intuitively that if Kenshin ever left her, she'd shatter into a million pieces and no one would be able to put her together again.

Her breath caught in her throat and she raised a shaky hand to her mouth. Abandonment. She was afraid of being abandoned, of being left alone. She had been so scared of him walking away from her that she had walked away before he could leave her. She knew that she was no prize, not the delicate feminine beauty that their society so valued. She was loud, quick tempered, and quick to act. She couldn't cook to save her life and womanly skills eluded her most days. But Kenshin, he made her feel adored, made her feel wanted just as she was, not as society said that she should be. He made her feel like she was the only woman on earth, like the most perfect and precious thing in his world. And she had run, throwing his love back into his face like it was worthless. All because she was scared of losing him, she had already lost him.

Bolting to her feet, she started running. She had to get to Kenshin, tell him that she loved him and beg him to love her back. It wasn't too late, it couldn't be too late, she would move heaven and earth to get his love back.

KxK

Kenshin slumped on his couch and stared moodily at the sake cup in his hands. As tempting as it was to lose himself in the oblivion of sake, he couldn't bring himself to take the first sip. What if Kaoru should need him? At the thought of her, his heart ached, the emptiness tugging relentlessly at him. It had been a week since they'd last spoken, since she'd sent him away with no explanation of what he'd done to cause her to do so. He'd racked his brains, but couldn't figure out what he'd done.

He knew that she had a quick temper, but usually it passed just as quickly. However, when he'd seen her the next day, her scowl was darker than it had been the day before. So even though it killed him, he had given her her space, although he'd followed her discreetly, unable to deny the need to keep her safe and see her. She'd almost seen him a few times, but he'd been able to slip out of sight before she'd confirmed that he was there.

Setting the sake aside, he stood and started pacing restlessly. There had to be a way to win her affection back. He felt like a man dying of thirst, denied the refreshing water that was Kaoru. He briefly contemplated going to Sano for help, but quickly discarded it. This was something that he had to do by himself.

He snorted, it wasn't like he didn't have the time to think of something. He was officially on leave for the next month until he stopped being a baka and got his head on straight, as Hiko had growled at him. And all because he had roughed up the Hiruma brothers. All right, so he'd sent both of them to the hospital, but they had deserved it for trying to go for someone under Kenshin's protection. His mood had been foul since Kaoru had dismissed him and he might have vented some of his anger and confusion on the brothers, but that was no reason for him to be pulled off duty for a month.

Shaking his head, he dismissed it as inconsequential. He had more important things to do anyway, mainly wooing Kaoru back to his side. He had given her as much space as he could, but he knew that he wouldn't make it another day. Knowing Kaoru, it wouldn't be easy to get past the walls around her heart. It would be a long campaign and it would require all of the finesse that he could muster. But the end prize was Kaoru, so it was worth it, no matter what. The question was, how to start the campaign. It was crucial that he approach this just the right way, otherwise her defenses would become even more entrenched.

He debated several different strategies, none of them seeming quite right. The most glaringly obvious obstacle was how their relationship was defined. Kaoru was clearly uncomfortable with anything beyond friendship, but was he really willing to take steps back from the progress that they'd made, back to just friends? The question tugged at him painfully. He wanted to soothe Kaoru, but he knew that he would be able to hide the depth of his feelings from her.

An insistent pounding on his door drew him from his thoughts and he scowled. Angry at having his thoughts interrupted, he strode over and yanked the door open, ready to give the person on the other side of the door a tongue lashing. The sight that greeted him caused his anger to die a swift death, concern taking its place. Kaoru was standing there breathing raggedly, tear streaks on her face, her eyes huge and desperate in her pale face.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger, but Kaoru and Kenshin refused to cooperate and tell me what happened next. I will update as soon as I get back from Nepal, pinky promise.

Reviews are appreciated


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

Ignoring the stitch in her side, Kaoru ran through the streets breathing hard. She needed to see Kenshin desperately, to beg him not to leave her. She felt a tug and quickly turned right down a side street. One of her gifts, her most treasured one, was the ability to always find her loved ones. And somehow, despite the short time they had known each other, Kenshin had made it onto that short list of people. She gave a choked laugh. Why the kami thought that she and Kenshin were made for each other, she had no idea. But she was going to run with it and accept it for the blessing it was.

Every step she took brought her closer to him, the warmth growing in her heart as she drew closer. However, her thoughts were whirling as she ran. Why, why, why had she been so blind to the truth of her and Kenshin's feelings? She felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes but blinked them back harshly. Now was not the time for tears and regrets, she had to make things right. Her doubt chose that moment to rear its ugly head and whisper insidiously, 'But what if he rejects you? What if he says that he wants nothing to do with you?' She felt tears slip down her face at the thought of Kenshin rejecting her but pushed forward resolutely. Even if he wanted nothing to do with her, she'd win his love back somehow. Kaoru had never been a quitter and she wasn't about to start now.

Her mad dash through the streets and alleyways had led her to a modest apartment building. Entering the building, she dashed up the stairs ignoring her burning muscles and aching lungs. Reaching the second floor, she came to a stop in front of the apartment that her gift insisted was Kenshin's. Gathering every last ounce of courage she possessed, she pounded on the door. Panting, she strained to hear the sound of footfalls or movement inside the apartment. She flinched when the door was wrenched open, a glaring Kenshin filling the frame. However, his scowl quickly disappeared, confusion and concern taking its place. He exclaimed, "Kaoru! What happened? Are you hurt?"

She managed to gasp out his name before suddenly stumbling, black dots swimming across her vision. She felt Kenshin catch and steady her, quickly guiding her over to the couch. She sank gratefully onto it, drawing in deep breaths and feeling unexpectedly relieved. He hadn't turned her away. Of course, she had practically passed out on his doorstep and he wasn't the kind of man to ignore someone in distress. And that quickly, the anxiety was back causing her lungs to seize up and the black dots seemed to multiply.

Suddenly, the couch dipped as Kenshin sat next to her and rested a warm hand against her hunched back. Cool ceramic touched her lips and he urged her to drink. She obediently did as he bid and gasped as the burn of sake slipped down her throat and settled into her stomach, abruptly thawing the frozen lump of dread that had lodged there. He urged her to drink more and she took a small sip, savoring the warmth.

The looming panic attack adverted, Kaoru felt herself blushing as her breathing evened out. Her vision cleared and she was able to see Kenshin's anxious gaze. He offered her more sake and she shook her head. She needed a clear head for this conversation and she'd already embarrassed herself enough. He set the sakazuki aside on the low table. Before she could apologize, he turned back and gently grasped her hands. "Kaoru, what's wrong? Is it Sano? Or Yahiko? Are you all right?

Sensing his distress, she forgot her embarrassment and soothed, "I'm fine, Kenshin. Everyone's ok. I just needed to see you."

Some of the tension eased from his face at hearing this, although he was still somewhat on edge. However, he merely raised an eyebrow and said, "Oro?"

A tiny giggle slipped out and she relaxed fractionally. It was such a Kenshin mannerism and a tiny bit of hope suddenly flickered to life. Turning her hands, she gripped his tightly. She begged, "Tell me that it's not too late. Tell me that I haven't ruined everything, Kenshin."

"Are you sure you're ok, Kaoru-dono? Too late for what? What is it that you think you've ruined?" His tone was gentle as he searched her face for answers.

Releasing one hand, she gestured impatiently, "You, me, us, this. Tell me I haven't ruined us."

He froze, utterly still, not even breathing and her heart fell. Finally he asked quietly, his face emotionless, "Is there an us?"

She felt her heart sink even farther, but refused to drop her gaze, refused to let her fear and doubts control her any longer. Instead, she chose to love wholeheartedly, to hold nothing back. Letting her emotions shine through clearly, she answered just as quietly, "I want there to be, more than anything."

He sucked in a sharp breath and slipped his hands out of her grasp, fisting them in his lap. He seemed to struggle internally for several moments. Finally he forced out, "Why did you run, Kaoru? Why did you run from this?"

She dropped her gaze, carefully ordering her thoughts. She knew that this conversation was the turning point and would dictate how things would continue. Gentle fingers slipped under her chin and lifted her face so that her eyes met Kenshin's.

He said quietly, "Don't hide your eyes from me, Kaoru-dono. Please don't ever hide from me."

Suddenly, Kaoru felt tears well up in her eyes. She knew, no matter what she confessed, that her heart was safe with Kenshin. He looked horrified at her tears and she smiled warmly. She reached out and gently caressed his face before allowing her hand to drop back into her lap. "You are an amazing man, Kenshin Himura." She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but knew that she had to explain first.

He looked totally confused at this point and she giggled as she wiped away the moisture from her eyes. Reaching over, she took one of his hands, easing it from the fist that it had returned to. "I can't excuse my behavior, but to explain it, I need to start at the beginning."

He nodded slowly, wariness clearly evident and Kaoru suddenly realized how much power she had to hurt him. Her heart ached as she realized how much pain she'd already put him through. She tightened her hand slightly on his and drew a deep breath. "You know about soul mates?"

He nodded, "A union blessed by the kami. The other half of your soul."

She smiled nostalgically, "That was my favorite tale growing up, I would request it practically every night. It was like a fairy tale, only better, because it was true. You see, my parents were soul mates. Their love was a beautiful thing. Although our lives were modest, our home was a little slice of heaven." She felt a twinge of sadness, but ignored it. "However, like any fairy tale, there is a dark side. When I was seven, my mother passed away. Our little haven was ripped apart and things were never quite the same again. My father was wonderful, but I didn't realize how much pain he was in until I was much older. He was only a shadow of a man without his other half."

He laced his fingers with hers and the ache eased slightly. She drew strength from that simple gesture and she was able to continue. "When I was seventeen, my father became ill. It progressed very rapidly, only four months from finding out he was ill until he passed away. During that time, we discussed many things, things that I would need to know as the last of the Kamiyas. Towards the end, his mind wandered more and more to my mother. He was eager to see her again, to be with her again. Although he was an excellent father, he truly died the same day my mother did. His greatest wish for me was to find my own soul mate. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I prayed that I never would. For if I had lost my soul mate like father did, it would have destroyed me entirely."

She dipped her gaze, but only for a second, heeding Kenshin's plea for her to not hid from him. "When father passed on, I had to sell the dojo to pay for his medical bills. It was hard, but I managed to move on with my life. It wasn't much, but it was mine. And I was happy in my isolation. There were a few exceptions, Sano and Megumi, Misao, and of course Yahiko, but few breached the walls that I had erected to guard my heart. I was not exactly happy, but I was content. I had my few friends, my work, and my goal of buying back my family's dojo. I had neither suitors nor sought any. Yes, I was content."

She smiled slightly and rested her other hand on their interlocked ones. "Then, three weeks ago, my world was turned on its head. On my way home from work, my gift of foresight tugged at me. Friends were coming over for dinner, Sano and someone else, someone that felt like a warm spring day after a long winter. I didn't think much of it, just that I needed to buy extra for dinner. Some mild annoyance at Sano, but he would never bring anyone dangerous to my home, he's like a protective big brother. But when I met you, I was ensnared by your gaze. It was like I was standing in the middle of a raging storm, but I felt so protected, so cherished at the same time. I couldn't understand what had happened, so I wrote it off as my imagination. We had a lovely evening and I thought that that was the end of it."

She chuckled slightly. "Imagine my surprise when I was tripping over you every time I turned around. I wanted to turn you away several times, but I enjoyed your company too much. A week ago, I was trying to clear my head. I was upset with how easily you were working your way past my carefully constructed barriers. We had only known each other for two weeks and you'd already made your way past some of my barriers. How much further would you go if we kept seeing each other? When I sent you away that day, I merely wanted to re-strengthen my barriers, I never truly expected for you to stay away for so long." She grinned wryly at him and he offered her a small grin in return.

She let the grin fall from her face. "What I didn't realize was how much your absence would hurt me. You had brought color and life back into my world. And with each day you did not return, the ache and need to see you grew. But in case you didn't realize, I'm quite stubborn. Tis one of my many flaws. I couldn't admit how much I truly needed you. But today, it was unbearable. I was so tired, tired of running and tired of hurting. So I sat down and tried to think things through. And what I discovered shamed me deeply." She feel silent, a lump lodging itself in her throat.

He tightened his fingers in hers, reaching up and smoothing a strand of hair from her face. When it became apparent that she was struggling to speak, he soothed, his voice deep and mellow, "This one happens to think that your stubborn streak is quite charming. And whatever it is that you discovered cannot be that bad. You are one of the most pure hearted people I know, Kaoru-dono."

She chuckled raspily, the lump easing slightly. "Figures that you'd like my stubbornness, one of the reasons that we're well matched. But what I discovered was truly horrible. I am a weak, greedy creature. I was so scared of being alone, of losing someone, that I would've latched onto and taken everything that you offered while giving nothing of myself in return. I wanted to protect myself so badly that I left you before you could leave me."

He made a noise of protest but she held up her hand and he remained silent. Drawing on every drop of courage she possessed, she continued. "When I realized this, it made me realize something else. It was already too late. If you ever left, it would destroy me completely. Because you have already passed all of my walls and stolen my heart. When I realized this, when I realized how much I had hurt you and hurt myself, all in the fear of getting hurt, I had to find you and make things right. That's when I realized exactly how much I already love you, Kenshin. I will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness, to earn your trust. Please just tell me that I haven't realized the truth too late."

K x K

When Kenshin opened the door to find a tearful Kaoru, his mind immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Grabbing his katana handle, he scanned her anxiously for injuries. He didn't see any so he'd asked, demanded really, what was wrong. She had managed to gasp out his name before swaying unsteadily, her eyes becoming unfocused. Sensing no immediate threat and reacting instinctively, he released his katana and leapt forward to catch her. He'd half guided, half carried her over to the couch, anxiety gnawing at him. What had happened to leave her in such a state? He scanned her chi, but it was chaotic and gave him no clear answer. He settled her on the couch then grabbed the sake he'd neglected earlier. She was heading into shock and he needed to find out what had happened. Thankfully, the sake seemed to the trick and she calmed down slightly. He frowned slightly when she refused a third sip, but acceded to her wishes and set it aside.

Seeing that she had calmed, he gently grabbed her hands and questioned to find out what had distressed her. She seemed to be all right, so something must have happened to Sano or Yahiko. He was surprised when she sought to ease his worry, even more surprised when she said that she had just wanted to see him. What had happened to bring her to his doorstep? Confused, he was uncertain what to say. This seemed to amuse her and her tiny giggle startled him as her chi suddenly calmed down.

He wasn't sure what she was talking about when she abruptly blurted out something about not being too late, about not ruining everything. He questioned her as gently as he could, anxious for answers.

Seeming frustrated by her inability to clearly articulate what she meant, she gestured impatiently and said, "You, me, us, this. Tell me I haven't ruined us."

He froze, unable to decide if she'd just said what he thought she'd said. Maybe his desperation to be at her side had caused him to hallucinate what he so desperately wanted to hear. Hope and fear warred inside him briefly as he wrestled with what to do. Praying that she couldn't hear his pounding heart, he kept his face emotionless, knowing that it would crush him if she rejected him again. He forced out, "Is there an us?"

He studied her closely, almost gasping when he saw the myriad of emotions passing through her beautiful indigo eyes. Then she murmured, "I want there to be, more than anything."

He felt his heart stop for a moment before it resumed its rapid rhythm. He'd felt an overwhelming burst of joy and had to struggle to keep from swooping her up in his arms. Suddenly a tiny voice of doubt crept in. Sure, she felt this way now, but what was to stop her from running away again? He still didn't know what she had rejected him the first time. He needed to know what had happened, what had gone wrong. He forced out, trying to not sound like he was begging, "Why did you run, Kaoru? Why did you run from this?"

She dropped her eyes, hiding from him. He felt his heart clench. She should never hide her emotions from him. His Kaoru was an honest, transparent person and he would never want her any other way. He frowned fleetingly at the term 'his' Kaoru, but quickly dismissed it. Reaching under her chin, he lifted her face up so he could see her expressive face and eyes. Seeing the unspoken question in her eyes, he said quietly, "Don't hide your eyes from me, Kaoru-dono. Please don't ever hide from me."

He panicked when tears welled up in her eyes, but then she smiled, a beautiful warm smile. She reached out and caressed his cheek, but before he could lean into its comforting warmth, she'd returned it to her lap. He was even more confused when she called him amazing. What had he done to bring that on? He was even more confused when she giggled again. His confusion must have been evident, because she said that she was willing to explain. He was unable to hide his sudden tenseness, worried over what she might have to tell him. He saw sadness flash through her eyes, but she quickly pushed it aside.

However, he was not expecting how she started off. Soul mates? Sure, he'd heard of them, but knew that they were very rare. He had longed for a soul mate during his teenage years, when he was so alone. He'd wanted someone, anyone, to love him for simply being him. Sure, he knew that Hiko loved him in his own way, but it wasn't enough for the lonely, affection starved teen he had been. But he hadn't thought about it for years, especially not after meeting Kaoru. Still, she seemed to be waiting for an answer, so he nodded, "A union blessed by the kami. The other half of your soul."

He listened as she shared her past, his heart aching at the loneliness and pain that she had been through. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and laced his fingers with hers, silently offering his support. She seemed to draw strength from that, so he left his hand in hers.

His heart warmed when she laid her other hand on top of his and started talking of the day they met. His mind turned back to that day, it would forever be etched in his mind. She spoke of being ensnared by his eyes, but he had been just as trapped in hers. He remembered the fierce wave of protectiveness that had swept over him along with the sense of awe. But most of all, he remember the sense of completeness that he had felt. Like he would never be alone in the world again. Just remember it warmed him all the way through and he tightened his fingers slightly on hers. When she spoke of tripping over him, he had to hold back a chuckle. He had been able to stay away from her and truthfully, he hadn't even tried. When she said that she hadn't truly expected him to stay away, the pain in his heart eased slightly and he found himself returning her grin. So it hadn't been a permanent banishment then, but only for the day.

He was torn when she admitted how much his absence had hurt her. On one hand, he never wanted her to hurt. But on the other, it had to mean that she cared for him, at least a little bit. But he pushed that aside when she spoke of shame, hurt and sadness clear on her face. He ached with the need to take it away, to make her smile again. He gripped her hand tighter and reached up and smoothed a strand of hair from her face, unable to resist the urge to touch and comfort her. Unable to believe that whatever she had done was so terrible, he soothed, "This one happens to think that your stubborn streak is quite charming. And whatever it is that you discovered cannot be that bad. You are one of the most pure hearted people I know, Kaoru-dono."

She chuckled, but there was still sadness in the sound. However, when she said that he was going to leave her, his mouth flew open to protest. When she held up her hand, it was the hardest thing he'd ever done to hold his tongue, but somehow he managed to swallow the words of protest. He was glad that he had when he heard her speak of him stealing her heart. A tiny ember of hope flared to life at this. Then everything stopped when he heard her say that she loved him. Through the blood pounding in his ears and the roar of joy and triumph his heart gave, he vaguely heard her say something about earning his forgiveness and his trust.

He remained frozen for a moment, trying to process the myriad emotions rushing through him. Then he reached out and crushed her to him. She loved him. Kaoru actually loved him. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply, savoring her beloved scent. She froze, then tentatively wrapped her arms around him loosely, uncertainty plain in her movements. He pulled her even closer. She loved him, he couldn't believe it. Feeling her unease and confusion clearly in her chi, he sighed and reluctantly eased her back. Resting his forehead on hers, he smiled at her. "Oh Kaoru, love. You have no idea how much I've longed to hear you say that. I love you. I know that it's crazy, we've only known each other for a few weeks, but I've been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you."

She searched his face and whatever she saw must've satisfied her as to the truth of his statement. She melted against him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He instantly tightened his grip, loving the feel of her in his arms. He barely heard her mumble, "It's not so crazy."

Sighing in contentment, he asked, "What was that, love?"

She leaned back far enough so she could meet his gaze, joy sparkling clearly in her eyes. However, she made no move to leave his arms. "I said, it's not so crazy. After all, we were meant for each other." At his unspoken question, she continued, "We're soul mates. We'll never be alone again."

He sucked in a deep breath as her words sunk in. She was his soul mate. Kaoru was his soul mate. He would never be alone again. Unable to contain his overwhelming joy, he leaned down and kissed her smiling lips. A fire ignited in his veins, but he kept the kiss chaste. Well, kisses. When they finally parted, they were both breathing hard. He smiled down at her and her answering, joy filled smile tempted him to kiss her again. However, he valiantly resisted. Calming his breathing, he rested his forehead against hers again. Feeling contentment wash over him, he murmured, "Marry me, Kaoru. Stay by my side forever. I'll never leave you, not if it's in my power, I swear. Be my bride and make me the happiest man in the world."

Tears welled up in her eyes, but this time he knew that they were happy tears. She reached up and cupped his cheek and he leaned into it. "Yes, Kenshin. Yes. Nothing would make me happier. I want to be with you more than anything. I love you."

"Ai shiteru, Kaoru. Ai shiteru."

Author's Note: Hi everyone, I know that I broke my pinky promise and have been gone for a very, very long time. However, I have a very good reason for that. I have been caught up with publishing my very first novel. In case you're interested, it's "In Search of Justice" by Kat Seaholm and it's available on Amazon. It was a crazy amazing journey and I was so exhausted after I finished it that I didn't write anything for a month. However, the sequel is already tugging at me, so no rest for this writer J Anyway, thanks for hanging in there and encouraging me to finish this fic. There may or may not be an epilogue, I haven't decided. And if you're curious (although you probably already know this) ai shiteru means 'I love you' in Japanese. Again, thanks for hanging in there and reviews are always appreciated. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!


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